It has taken me a few years to get used to the idea. Travelling with a group of friends where each person brings their own preferences requires adjustment. In my defense, I did excellently when I travelled with only one person. It was either GGC or MJM or PC. But when I was in a larger group, I used to be at my wits’ end.

Frankly, I used to be quite a control freak when it came to travelling. I would have days chalked out, lists of attractions made, restaurants identified etc. I used to do this for group travels too but then someone would, invariably, pour water over all my itineraries. And that would give me a major heartburn! My carefully – crafted plan!! ☹

Given how non – confrontational I’m, I wouldn’t speak up but would sulk within. And effectively ruin my holiday. This was till a few years ago. Now, I realize, I’ve mellowed down. Age. Experience. Wisdom. Call it what you will. I go with the flow now. I still make lists of things to do but I’m not paranoid about tracking it to the T.

I understand (much better) now that all of us are different. One person will play music loud. Even though I want to box her/him in the ear, I just put my earplugs on. There will be one who will be a control freak. (eyeroll) I would just explore the place suggested by her/ him. I also belong to the JOMO camp now.

So, while a friend wants to pack the day with activities, I’ll join in the ones that I like. And then I would head to another place to do my own thing, even if alone. This isn’t to say that I’m being selfish & not being considerate about my friends. It just means that if there are 10 activities to do, I will do eight of them.

I’m sure I can be excused from the remaining two. And that should be seen as fair too! Or even when friends want to stay up till late. I’ll do it for a day or two maybe but if for longer, my JOMO kicks in! Being an early sleeper, I give my best wishes to them & retreat to my room. What would be the point to sit there drowsily & grumpily?

But no, this post isn’t meant to say that I don’t give a damn anymore. Or that you shouldn’t give one either. It just means that all of us need to find a middle ground without anyone getting upset about anything. Travel can test the boundaries of friendship. But one wrong word or action here & there, in the heat of the moment, can destroy it.

Is that worth it? Below are a few recommendations for travelling with friends to make sure you keep your sanity & also keep the peace of the group –

Be Upfront About Personal Requirements and Preferences

Everyone has preferences when traveling—from getting the bed closest to the bathroom or sitting in the airplane’s window seat. I like a schedule and start my day with exercise. My friends prefer to ignore the alarm clock and sleep in. They think about how to spend their day after waking up. There are those who want to party all night and those who want to read.

I make sure I discuss this with my friends before our trip starts. Knowing these details before you travel will help to smooth the frictions differences can cause. There are also things beyond our control. To deal with those, share the truth with your travel companions. This means having a conversation about everything from allergies to hygiene, to consideration of space.

Everyone should have an enjoyable time.

Don’t Over-schedule Your Trip

It is tempting to have a packed itinerary. Still, it’s helpful to leave some open slots on your schedule when you’re traveling with a group. I try to be as flexible as possible and roll with challenges. You should leave gaps for others to enjoy. Visit places that you had not initially planned to. Others can reciprocate.

Don’t let molehills turn into mountains. I compromise and go with my friends somewhere; then, they go with me. Even with besties, we are all created differently; be mindful of that. This is one travel secret that guarantee a stress-free trip.

Get Off Your Phone

Your friends will understand if you need to take a call from a family member or during a work emergency. Other than that, try to stay off of your phone. These trips are appealing because they offer time with friends. The goal is not to respond to non-urgent work queries or to message other friends. Additionally, during a special dinner or evening out, everyone can turn down the notifications on their phone.

Not everyone needs/ wants to hear your texts.

Get On the Same Page About Finances

You and your friends must agree when it comes to the exact type of trip you’re taking. We have different financial situations. One person is up for a no-expenses-spared getaway. Another member of the group only manages to afford something cheap. Your best bet is having this conversation before the trip, agreeing on aspects like accommodation.

And Keep Track of Expenses

Money can be a stressful part of traveling with a group. So, we make sure we stay on top of who pays for what. The Splitwise app can help us with this. It tells everyone exactly what they owe to settle up. It takes care of the math on our vacation. It also removes the awkwardness of asking for money.

Give Each Other Some Space

Spending time together with friends can be intense. This is especially true in close quarters, whether there are two or ten of you. Or you want (or need) alone time. To manage this, I promise to give my companions some space. I certainly need this because company overwhelms me after a point of time. Give each other time alone every now and again.

Even if it’s just a half-hour every day, you’ll reap the benefits in the rest of your time together. And this is fine, but don’t disappear. Make sure your friends have a way of contacting you. Communicating my whereabouts saves my companions from having to play detective in the event no one can find me. Communication helps the group bond which helps build the foundation for that trip.

It’s smart when we’re traveling in a foreign country or other unfamiliar locales.

Include At Least One Activity for Everyone

You and your friends probably have some similar interests, but that’s not always the case. To keep everyone happy, we go over travel expectations ahead of time. Have each person categorize activities, sights, and more into ‘must-see’, ‘want to see’, and ‘would go if we have time’. Then plan suitably. Make sure everyone gets to see some of their top attractions.

Listen And Be Respectful

Given that you’re traveling with friends, it should go without saying that you should be respectful of their concerns. Communication is key. Consideration goes a long way. I want to finish the trip as close to my friends as I was at the start. I even want to be closer. We shouldn’t be upset with each other. Plus, it’ll help you avoid these other travel mistakes, so you have the best trip ever.

Swallow Your Pride

You can’t win every argument, be right about everything and always get your way when you’re traveling with a group. Traveling brings out the good, the bad, and the ugly in all. So, there’s bound to be a smidgen of tension between buddies every now and then. When this happens, I’ve just learnt to bite my tongue and/ or apologize; most importantly, forgive and forget.

There’s nothing like grudge-holding to ruin a good trip.